How well do you know your spouse?

Written by: Nathan Bell

You probably think you know your spouse pretty well.

After all, you do live together… and have lots of opportunities to talk, and do things together, and observe your life partner.

But the truth is, most people don’t know their spouses as well as they think.

And the holes that exist in their knowledge of one another can lead to some unnecessary dissatisfaction with the marriage — for both partners.

In light of this, here’s a practice I recommend for all married couples…

Spend some time together at least twice a week asking your spouse what challenges he or she is facing… as well as what he or she is finding that’s exciting or encouraging.

When your spouse replies, work hard at listenening, understanding and caring.

Be sure and ask questions for clarity, too… to make sure you understand what’s being said.

Then, switch places… and you take some time to relate what you’re finding to be challenging and encouraging in your life.

After you both have a shared understanding, lift each other up before the Lord in prayer.

This simple practice can work wonders to increase the level of intimacy in your marriage.

But this shouldn’t be surprising… because the Bible equates intimacy with ‘knowing and being known.’

So, make a point to discuss the challenges and encouragements you and your spouse are facing on a regular basis… in person, eye to eye… and pray about them.

As you do, you are sure to find the satisfaction you have with your marriage increase.

Be on your guard though…

Because this practice is so effective at increasing intimacy and marital satisfaction, the world, the flesh and the devil will all conspire to disrupt your exchanges with conflict or detachment.

So watch out for these obstacles.

For your best marriage,

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Seeing the beauty of what marriage is meant to be motivated me to invest thought, time and energy into loving my husband better by God's grace. I'm thankful for the space it carved out in our busy lives, to evaluate our marriage and apply practices that help us connect to the hope we have in Christ as we interact with each other. Laura McCauley
In all the MEF programs, God is first. The Forum helped to make the association of marriage to Biblical beliefs. It helped us have a much clearer understanding that marriage is a reflection of your relationship with God. Greg and Jilanne Smith