When your spouse disappoints you…

Marriage is the joining together of two flawed people.

Being the case, the issue we face is not ‘whether’ our spouse will disappoint us, but ‘what’ we’ll do when it happens.

The great danger is that we’ll lose hope.

A typical scenario might look something like this:

A woman is continually irritated by a certain bad habit of her husband’s.

She has talked to him about this on occasion — and in a kind way — but nothing seems to change…

… so she begins to lose hope… as she wonders what kind of man it is that she’s married…

… and she ends up being withdrawn and unhappy… just waiting for him to alter his ways.

As we think about this scenario, it’s important to realize the problem here is NOT that the woman would like to see her husband change a displeasing habit.

… God made marriage to be a refining relationship, where husbands and wives each make positive changes that are prompted by the loving observations of their partners.

The problem in this case is different…

… it’s that the woman has put her hope in her husband changing… and because these changes haven’t come about, she becomes sullen and hopeless.

There’s an alternative to this.

The alternative is for the woman to put her hope in something more sure than another human being…

If her hope is in her husband improving, there will always be something to be dissatisfied about…

But if her hope is in God… and what He is doing in her life and current situation — despite the shortcomings of her husband — joy and peace are hers no matter what the marriage might bring.

This is because only God — through the gift of His resurrected Son and Spirit — is able to bring us a hope that does not disappoint (Romans 5:5).

So…

… as you discover disappointments with your spouse, honest discussion about your feelings and desires is definitely in order…

Just be sure your hope goes deeper than looking for certain changes to take place…

And have it fixed on He who is able to bring about His good purpose through any circumstance.

For your best marriage,

 

 

 

 

 

Written by: Nathan Bell

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Seeing the beauty of what marriage is meant to be motivated me to invest thought, time and energy into loving my husband better by God's grace. I'm thankful for the space it carved out in our busy lives, to evaluate our marriage and apply practices that help us connect to the hope we have in Christ as we interact with each other. Laura McCauley
I would like to submit to you that investing in MEF is worth your time and money. You will leave knowing your spouse at a more intimate level then when you started, regardless of how long you have been married. Jill Gable