When you combine the pace of living with our fallen nature, distance can creep into any marriage.
So what can we do to recover and maintain closeness as married couples?
Here are nine ways you can deal with any distance you may be experiencing…
1. Be honest about the distance you sense.
When you tell your spouse about the distance you feel and ask for help in improving your connection together, you express vulnerability and take an important step toward a much closer and rewarding marriage.
2. Be careful in your conversations.
Avoid viewing your spouse as a threat when you interact. And be wary of any inclination to shut down as well. Instead, engage your spouse and invest in one another, always speaking the truth in love.
3. Be quick to repent and forgive.
In this world stumbling blocks are sure to come. And if not dealt with, they cause distance in a marriage to increase. So apply this formula whenever offenses occur: Sincere Repentance + Sincere Forgiveness = Restoration.
4. Prioritize focused and purposeful alone time.
Alone time with your spouse is an important way to show you care. String these moments together regularly by way of dates and getaways. And while together… focus on loving, building up, affirming, sharing, and seeking out adventure and fun. Be unconditionally supportive and affectionate, too!
5. Make love!
Lovemaking is powerful – that’s why it’s so good when it’s working and so frustrating when it’s lost! So do seek to make love. If you face obstacles, keep trying. As you do, love each other well as you honestly attempt to find success together in this unifying aspect of your marriage.
6. Pray together.
Honest sharing with one another should lead naturally to prayer. Seek the Lord and ask Him for help regarding the things you talk about. Take turns praying out loud, praising the Lord and also petitioning Him for each other’s good.
7. Speak affirmingly about your spouse .
Wives champion your husbands. Tells others what a remarkable man he either is or is becoming. Husbands, cherish your wives. Tells others what a treasure they are to you and why they are that way.
8. Pursue shared activities.
Plan, think, and rethink the routine of your lives. What can be integrated into shared activity? What can be done together? If each of you made one or two changes, it could dramatically increase and improve the amount of time you have together.
9. Do something new and creative.
The more I do this work the more I see how toxic the mundane and boredom can be for a couple. Brainstorm ideas with at least two other people for ideas of creative things to do – and then do them.
If distance in your marriage has got you down, don’t let it. Be pro-active and start to implement these ideas today and over the next few weeks.
Written by: Nathan Bell
P.S. Don’t forget… our Harvest of Hope Fundraiser and Fellowship is taking place on Sunday, November 4th.
Register here if you haven’t already: http://fulfillingendeavors.